Monday, August 31, 2015

betrayal as a blessing

This is a follow-up to my previous post on betrayal and revenge
In her book, Surviving a Shark Attack (on Land), 
Dr. Laura Schlessinger provides some 
things a pessimist like me often fails to consider
valuable insights for everyone to consider when dealing with betrayal.

You will be betrayed. Being betrayed is not always in your control. But how you respond, is

In her book, Dr. Laura writes, "The blessing of some powder-keg explosions [is that] cleaning up the debris often reveals new objects for valuing... 

"The greatest source of misunderstanding for a large percentage of betrayed people is that when they stay immersed in their unhappiness about being betrayed, they in turn betray all the wonderful people who love and stand by them. Husbands and wives who spend their time depressed and anxious about their problems with a betrayer rob their families of the love and attention they would be giving them if the were not so focused on the betrayer."

I admit I have been guilty of this. It can be extremely difficult to not to let the pain swallow you alive. However, "if you are so bogged down with hurt and rage over a betrayal, then you might miss out on what could possibly change your life forever--and in the most positive way."

Sometimes, betrayals are blessings in disguise. 

People are often afraid of change and taking on new challenges. Betrayals force you out of your comfort zone complacency and give you the chance kick in the butt to look for better opportunities and circumstances. It may take the form of finding a new job, a new church, a new mentor, or a new significant other. In any case, you might just end up with something (or someone) much better than you'd ever dared to hope for.

Second, betrayals show you the people in your life that you can/cannot trust. Betrayals allow you to weed out the bad ones and further appreciate the good ones. They reveal your true friends, and the people who are willing to stand by you and/or what is right, regardless of the cost. Even if it changes nothing in your situation, it means you are not alone. However, Dr. Laura cautions: "Don't judge the amount of support [you receive]. Embrace whatever comes your way--it is in the category of blessing." 

Finally, betrayals can cause you to question and examine yourself. While you are not responsible for the actions of others, there may well be some things you've done or said that contributed to the betrayal. Regularly assess your own motives and actions to make sure you are doing/being your best. That is a blessing also!

"In looking for the silver lining, you learn how not to feel like the victim. If you are grasping on to that identity, you marinate in unhappiness and resentment..." 

Learn from your past. Don't trust just anyone. Put your energies into the quality things and people in your life today; learn to be grateful for the loving relationships you do have and don't take them for granted. However painful, betrayal can be a blessing in disguise--if you let it.


  1. Thanks for sharing these highly relevant thoughts Donna. Maybe this fall we should get together sometime.

    1. Yes! If you are ever in the area, please look me up!